Hello lovelies, it’s Wednesday
Fuck you, it’s Wednesday! Whoopie-doo!
I feel that it’s only fitting that we start where we left off from last week, with loads of blue shlong. Take a minute a checkout this videogame footage of Dr. Manhattan shlonging the shit out of the incredible hulk. Thank God! the creators of the hulk movie had some decensy and kept his pants on. Can you imagine, Ira?
Two fun things, I joined the gym because I’m getting a fupa (that’s fat upper pelvic area for all you dummies) and I’m looking at bringing a new life into my life, a cat. Most of you know, I hate cats, but according to my dear fwiend Ben, cats are super cheap and I could use the company. Fortunately, since I don’t have any furniture, Mr. Puddles would have plenty of space to run around. I’ve been thinking about either a smudge (a cat that was bashed in the face as a pup) or a scottish fold, which looks like an aborted baby alien with retarded ears; perfect for my place.
What else? Man, that is the ultimate date killer. Imagine, being on a date with a fine young lady-man and during conversation, one of you says ‘hmmm, what-else?’ I don’t know about you, but that would be instant death, I’m talkin’ finish her-him shizism. Typically, I would place an image of a ladyboy here, but I think I’ll save it for another day.
Oh, yea, so I’ve recently decided that walking to work in the morning is amazing, and the saddest thing in the world. You would be amazed by the amount of shit that covers the streets. I’m not talking about cigarette buts and gummy bears, I’m talking actual poop. Man poop, dog poop, bird poop, my poop, it’s freakin’ everywhere. That being said, I’m considering a move to SF in a year or so, which means the furniture will have to wait. Actually, I’m probably not going to move to SF because I hate hippies and dykes.
queue the photo of vagina bike girl
I .. LOVE .. this photograph. look at that fucking hat. I just wanna wrap myself up in it and pretend I’m flying things. I just wish that giant hatchet wound wasn’t in there. Shit’s grosS!
For those of you who recieve the Whoopie-doo it’s Wednesday email, I totally designed that site
Ok, 2 more things. 1, Kirsten Lepore, won another sigh award for her cream sweet dreams film. I mean, c’mon Kirsten, that shit was made 2 years ago, get with the program and make something new already. Pat her on the belly when you see her and feed her a tiny biscuit. She’s a sensitive one and needs all the support she can get. Doing so will guarantee you tickets to her premier when she’s a suuuuperfamo person. 2, I’ve finished my beer and it’s still sunny out which means I’m out bitches.
I can’t leave without giving you one more thing. I got this from Jake
