Weeha, it’s motherfrakin’ Wednesday
Well hello lovelies, aren’t my cheeks cute!? Am I cute? Am I cute?!~ >_>
I regret to inform you that I am not as fun as I usually am today because I haven’t had my afternoon miller. Thus, this post might be borking. If it is, then I’ll totally understand if you feel like leaving to play with your twat or need to stick your nose back in your facebook.
A few things to note, 1stly taking a poop after taking a shower is quite possibly the worst feeling in the world. The other day, after a rigorous work out at the gym, I came home and took a nice steamy shower. Immediately after, my abdomen made a noise indicating that it was time to take a steamy shit. This sucked. I hated every moment of it. As I stated in my email, I felt like I had a stink-cloud following me all day. I was going to take a second shower, but I decided to be green and endure for the environment. That’s the last time I do that, sorry earth. The second most worst feeling in the world is working out so hard that you have to poop. This happened the other day while I was on the treadmill. Perhaps my morning breakfast bar didn’t sit well, or maybe I was just pulling so much iron that I scared the shit out of me. har har har.
On a lighter note, a friend of mine who is blasian expressed interest in the Burning Man festival this year. I, of course, expressed disdain and objected the idea outright. In her defense, she sent an image of a piece created by one of the toasty-nut boys from the festival, which made my arguement stronger. Take a look for yourself:
Burning man is the real-world version of 2nd life, or the alternate reality thing. Why? note the woman in the pink. She is wearing a cowboy hat, a thong, and black platform boots….Straight outta fuckin SL. Seriously. I’m also sure that the truck is not real, but an image of a sculpture from SL. Thus, I don’t have to attend BM because I’m already a member of SL, my SN is Neon Hermaphrodite and I’m a level 47 trollslayer that wears absolutely nothing because I’m unique.
Returning to the gym, I’ve discovered the my membership includes a pool-troll. The sales person failed to mention this during my contract negotiations and I’m a little peeved. If I knew about the pool troll, I would have brought my sunlight kit (b/c that’s what trolls are afraid of, it turns them to stone, yes I role-played). Anyway, apparently, every gym has a pool troll/goblin/old-nasty-skank of sorts. I’d like to believe that my pool troll is totally unique as she is about 5’3”, 1000 years old, and capable of producing more mucus than a colony of slugs. I swear, the troll released a flood of membrane everytime she came out of the water, disgusting. It was just gross. Unfortunately, I shared a lane with her for about 1 second, only to be contaminated by her trolliness. Hopefully I’ll be able to curb this nagging need to feed on babies and cocaine.
One word
Oh, two of my dear friends launched new websites, of which are pretty and filled with user-friendly goodness. Coincidentally, they’ve also decided to get a dog and have been decorating a house together. It’s SYUPER CUTE when they sit beside one another while on their computers. Frak you both, I’m only jealous.
I’d like to take a moment to discuss twitter. Now, if you don’t know about twitter, than you are far too old for this blog and you should return to your AOL/Lycos/Geocity/Ask/Yahoo life and never look back. Twitter, well, I’m not going to bitch about it because that’s just cliche’ Everyone is bitching about twitting, twatting, tweeting, twinks, and all that shit. Really? I don’t understand. Why does this happen? A new social networking tool comes out that is simpler than the one before, creates mass-hysteria, and then before you know it, dudes like me are too old to use it and it’s not cool anymore because your mom has one. This happened with livejournal, friendster, myspace, facebook… the list grows and will continue to grow. I guess my question is, what’s next? I’m already over twitter and I don’t even use it that much. Could someone please, please, just take my consciousness and inject it into the meta-pool that is our collective identity? I guess one could argue that this has already happened, the difference being that I’ve yet to reap the benefits of ever-lasting internet life. What exactly are the benefits of ever-lasting internet life? Oh, I fraking know, endless streams of bromst-lead asian tranny orgies with endless comments and ads for penis vitamins.
fuck, i’m in
